In 2017, when Deb Washington’s daughter Megan was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour at the age of 26, the family struggled to find the appropriate information and support. Following Megan’s death in January 2019, Deb came across the Brain Tumour Support NZ website and immediately wanted to become involved. Since that moment, Deb has become a regular donor, Support Friend volunteer, Brainy Beanie creator and an avid supporter of the charity. In this Volunteer Spotlight article, Deb describes the motivation behind her involvement with Brain Tumour Support NZ.

Tell us a little about yourself
I’m a 55 year old ex-dairy farmer who now works as a rural professional in the dairy sector. I’m married to Richard and we recently celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary! Richard and I are parents to four kids - we have two living children, both of whom are married with kids of their own (three gorgeous grandkids to date) and two daughters that watch from above.
I spend my spare time keeping fit, walking my dog around the local walkways, knitting, reading and am trying to become a better gardener. I’m not much of a fan of shopping but I do love a girls weekend or family trip away when I can get one.

Where’s home for you?
Born and bred in Taranaki, I still have a strong sense of connection to the province despite not having lived there for over 20 years. We moved around a reasonable amount when we were dairy farming, including three times in four years. We ended our dairy farming career in 2007 and now live on a lifestyle block just outside Feilding in the Manawatu.
It’s a great location and perfectly placed for day trips in various directions. Plus it’s close to family in Taranaki and our daughter and her family in the Bay of Plenty. We enjoy having our bit of land, and raise sheep and cattle on our small block. We’ve got a big house with a large garden which is perfect for visitors large and small.

How did you first get involved with volunteering for Brain Tumour Support NZ?
Our eldest daughter, Megan, was diagnosed with a glioblastoma (GBM) in March 2017, and died in January 2019. I had been her primary caregiver throughout her illness and there were times when I felt extremely helpless and uninformed. Our/her focus was always on living - never dying - in fact, we didn’t discuss it. I was given advice not to use Dr Google either. Unfortunately, BTSNZ was not in existence at that time and we struggled to find any support options for someone her age (mid 20’s). Following her death I was searching for a meaningful way to spend my time and came across the website/Facebook page. I called Mandy and we chatted, and discussed how I could be involved.

Tell us a little about your involvement with BTSNZ
There’s a number of ways I am involved. Since I don’t drink coffee, I decided donating the money I wasn’t spending on the price of a cup of coffee was a good idea so I set up a regular donation to BTSNZ. I am available as a Support Friend when needed and have had a small number of referrals in this area. I also put the knitting needles to good use and donated a bunch of beanies to the recent Brainy Beanie campaign.
This one really resonated with me as Megan was a beanie fan and used to say wearing the beanie made her feel ‘normal’ as no one could see her hair loss from her radiation treatment. Plus I try to get the message out about the work BTSNZ does so others have an option of being involved or supporting their work in any way they can.

What do you enjoy about volunteering?
I enjoy the fact that something simple or relatively small (a beanie or the price of a coffee) can have such a big impact. I hope that my support friend mentoring helps others feel they are not alone in what they are going through. It helps me also to understand that others have the same random thoughts in the middle of the night that I did, and hopefully that helps them as well.

What advice would you give to others who are thinking about volunteering for BTSNZ?
Just give it a try, everyone has something to offer! Volunteers are just ordinary people, trying to help other ordinary people.

What motivates you to stay volunteering for BTSNZ?
Just the thought that I would have been grateful to have had the option of accessing support from BTSNZ if it had been around prior to 2019, I am happy to continue to be involved to make sure it is an option for others going forward.

What’s surprised you most about volunteering for BTSNZ?
I think I underestimated how small a group is behind it all. All very ordinary people doing extraordinary things. But I am not surprised at the generosity of those involved.

What are your favourite pastimes, sports or hobbies?
I love books, so reading is a favourite pastime. I need to have an actual book not a electronic version!
Sport is also something that is a big deal for our family, either playing, watching or supporting. Mainly rugby, cricket and netball. Mostly I am a watcher now.
I also like to walk, either with or without the dog, preferably on bush trails or along the beach. I also manage to get a few ‘events’ in during the year. Last year a group of us walked for Oxfam, and recently a couple of family members and I walked the half marathon in Wellington.
As I said earlier, I also knit. This is something I rediscovered after Megan died. I read somewhere that if your hands are busy your mind is calmer. It works for me mostly (except when I get a pattern wrong!). I enjoy knitting for the new babies in our lives, both family babies and those of Megan’s friends. I never tire of spending time with family or friends.
My new favourite pastimes are whatever the grandkids are into. For the 4-year-old it is building, Ghostbusters and water; for the one-year-old it is exploring and story time; and for the 8-month-old it is trying to crawl and make noise.

What’s something about you (a fun fact) that not many people know?
I can’t cope with snagged or broken fingernails. I have nail files in my car, my office desk and my handbag. I’ve even been known to pack one in my kitbag on trail event days.

What’s the last book you read?
Friends and Traitors by John Lawton. My daughter and son in law bought me a box of books from bookgrocer.com for Christmas and I am happily making my way through it. I do normally have a couple of books on the go at once, a novel plus something else like short stories or poetry that I can read if I don’t have much time. My bedside table always has a pile of books on it!

If you had to eat one meal every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I am not normally a 3 course meal eater but since you asked these are three of my favourites:
Entree: Homemade pumpkin soup
Main: A perfectly cooked scotch fillet with fresh salad
Dessert: There is no way I would ever get sick of lemon cheesecake!